Day #1

I actually had a sleep last night, which I didn't expect. From my entrance onto the ward until around 1am one of my room mates was very unimpressed with my cough. She just kept saying 'shut up!' 'I'm trying to sleep" 'Shut up!'. It's a pretty normal response to encounter on a 6 bed ward, but when I realised the woman was not confused and SEEMED totally with it, it kind of upset me. I feel like a broken record. 'Sorry, but I have to cough. I can't help it'. This is a hospital lady! I don't waste anger because I know it's just ignorance and it's not her fault she doesn't understand, but it can just grate. I cough every 3 minutes or so when I'm sick. Every single time, including while I was going to sleep she said 'shut up' or moaned loudly. It's obviously not fair on her either. But it is seriously tough to listen to. I don't think I should have to apologise for something that is out of my control and if we had a proper health sytem, wouldn't be bothering her at all. The lady across from me today told me that she had seen me on the Late Late Show and then said she remembers that time I was meant to go on and I was too sick. She seemed to remember a lot which was v strange. Turns out she had two babies born with CF about 30 years ago. Neither of them survived. She chatted with me for a few minutes and it was tough to listen to her. She was lovely though, very nice and very supportive. But I'm just so exhausted.

I have so much stuff with me in here that it blocks up my entire corner. Most people with CF bring so much stuff with them to hospital. It's necesarry to stay sane. We mostly get dressed every day too. I haven't showered today yet because I hate using the showers in here and I can't unpack because there is not enough space like there is in single ensuite rooms downstairs My friend text me earlier and told me a woman with some easily transferable infection had just been removed from her room. No one told her, she just saw the curtains being taken down (which is what happens if there is dangerous infection in the room, they are cleaned) Afterwards I tweeted that I would like any candidate in the general election who had the guts to come and visit me here and discuss the situation with me. I want them to see the reality. And this ward is actually very good and the nurses are very nice. It is certainly not the worst ward I have ever been in. But any ward that is not a single en-suite cubicle is not good enough.

This morning I went to use the bathroom and there was no azo wipes in it. They are the wipes used to clean the residue off the toilet seat before using it. I walked out and took some from the counter, and told the nurse there was none so I was taking them. The other thing is that three times I've left the ward this morning to get some fresh air. There was a bad, strong smell of urine here for an hour or so this morning. Unfortnately to get down to ground floor and outside I have to walk through two other wards and take lift, or walk down 4 flights of stairs and walk through the ward the woman with MRSA was on. I checked and it says the contruction work will end tomorrow evening. That would really be great. Two days might not seem long, but infection risk is so significant to me. It could damage my life. I really hate this place.

The food is pretty gross too, but I managed to get some nice organic natural yougurt in the shop, along with The Irish Times. Sat there eating and reading for a while to avoid the heavy smells and dead air of the ward. I opened the window last night and one woman got upset about it. The air is so heavy here, like it's humid. My cousin is bringing me in some real food later. SO.EXCITED. It's really hard because I have to eat lots all the time especially when I'm unwell or in hosptial. When I'm sick my body burns calorie faster, I lose fat through malabsorbtion and diabetes. I also lose muscle mass.

I really hope a politician comes in to talk to me. I'd really respect any who had the guts to, but so far - nothing.